Dear PB Readers,

The 2nd greatest gift you can give anyone is your time. In my mind, the greatest gift one is able to give society is the donation of blood and organs. I have met more then one fortunate person who benefited from another family's loss. While I fully appreciate that some religions feel uncomfortable with organ donation, the vast majority of us really haven't fully thought about the ultimate gift. Monique one of our regular PB readers sent me a note last week describing how her 26 year old son will be running his first marathon in May after being a recipient of a heart and double lungs in 2002. Monique wisely suggests that just signing a donor card is not enough. Tell your family your distinct wishes (as family members can veto your donor card if they wish). Some people feel that by discussing the topic or signing their own personal donor card they may in some way be hastening their own death. The oldest known donor was 92 years old, so most of us must have at least one or two organs that can still be used again. As we are just coming to the end of National Donor Week, I would encourage families to take five minutes this week to share their personal views and discuss this most important topic. Imagine the power of knowing your family's unfortunate loss could have benefited another family.

Welcome to our many new Personal Best readers. Some of our newer readers may wish to go back and read issues 233-236 where we discussed the topic of Achieving Excellence. I have had over 400 emails from readers to create those four special editions. Our goal each week is to be thought provoking and positive. For over four and a half years I have never missed a Monday morning. Some of you have missed an issue or two, because the spam filters on your computers now believe our newsletter is junk-mail. We are currently sending out so many newsletters each Monday morning that some email-filters now believe we are selling VIAGRA and FLORIDA SWAMP LAND. I encourage each of you to sign up a friend or family member. Keep your ideas and contributions coming. Sign up of friends by emailing barrie@personalbest.ca or going to our Personal Best Website at www.personalbest.ca.

APRIL 25th PB HIGHLIGHTS

* DENIS WAITLEY'S QUOTE ON CHOICES
* LIVING WITH OPTIMISM
* PB EMAIL OF THE WEEK # 1
* PB EMAIL OF THE WEEK # 2
* DON'T MISS BARRIE'S MAY 7TH ACTIVE LIVING AND POSITIVE ATTITUDE CLINIC
* JOIN BARRIE AT HIS JUNE 2ND GOLF DAY FUNDRAISER & SUPPER
* HAPPY 12TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE GREATEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD

DENIS WAITLEY'S QUOTE ON CHOICES

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."

LIVING WITH OPTIMISM

Whether it is learned or inherent, positive thinking can be a help in healing. Most of us have heard about the story of a person who has been given six months to live and two years later is hiking in the mountains or Lance Armstrong who had hoped to just survive his cancer and in two months will be going after his record breaking 7th consecutive Tour De France victory.

Doctor Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania has found that optimists are more resistant to many of types of illness than their pessimistic brothers or sisters. Seligman says, "Optimists have a set of self-serving illusions that enable them to maintain good cheer and better health in a universe that is indifferent to their welfare." In other words, as small and insignificant as we really are in the universe, optimists somehow believe that things will work out. That they are important enough to matter in the cosmic universe. Since Norman Vincent Peale wrote his classic book "The Power of Positive Thinking" many years ago, hundreds of scientific articles have been printed verifying the importance of a positive attitude. Research indicates that optimists are less likely to be sick and when they are they have a faster recovery rate (including colds, flu, heart attacks and cancer).

The mind-body connection while observed is still not fully understood. Researchers in the field of psychoneuroimmunology have found the immune system of optimists react differently then their negative thinking friends. Positive thinkers somehow increase the stimulation of their immune system and create a more effective barrier to illness. Specialists in the area still caution that there are many complimentary methods that ill people should consider (warning that people shouldn't believe that their mind can totally heal them without other medical interventions). Matching a person's coping style with the intervention is key. Yoga, meditation, support groups and biofeedback are just a few of the positive living strategies that people should consider. Doctor Seligman offers three strategies for overcoming pessimism:

1) Change your interior dialogue. Talk nice to yourself even if you have just fouled up. I personally try to recognize a problem has occurred and see how I might repair or fix the problem.
2) Make it a competition. Listen to your self-defeating thoughts. Listen to them and argue against them. Each time they scored a goal on me this winter, I immediately said to myself "I will stop the next one"
3) If your disappointed do something health and pleasurable. If you have had a bad day go out to see a positive movie, or call a friend. Essentially reward your failure.

PB EMAIL OF THE WEEK #1

Barrie, talking about your newsletter last week about using technology. Ten days ago, I was in St. Peter's Square for the Papal funeral Mass. We had an anchor/commentator in a Rome "studio". The anchor was getting a feed from the square that originated at the Vatican, went to New York, to our Toronto studios, back to Rome, which was then fed back to Toronto with his commentary. When they went to me in the square....I called Toronto from the Vatican, the phone call was re-routed back to Rome along with the Vatican feed of the funeral, then back to Toronto! All Live...moving at the speed of light....from half way around the world!!! Wow for technology. D.T.

PB EMAIL OF THE WEEK #2

Barrie, I haven't opened your emails for quite some time. Mostly due to lack of time! Today I opened it with a gut feeling I needed to read it. I must say that your summary on excellence could not have come at a better time. The last few months I have struggled with that question. Mostly wondering if I had what it would take to be a top athlete - convincing myself that if I hadn't seen the results by now (with only 6 years of training) that I would never see them. What I failed to realize until today was that my struggle to get to that level has opened up many other doors and given me that feeling of excellence in other areas of my life.

It is that process of course that makes the one moment of "excellence" so great. And indeed it takes perhaps a life time to find the right recipe to experience it. I am still very confused as to why I haven't been able to live up to my potential. A lot of coaches believe it is because I am not selfish enough - I do have a question for you. What exactly does that mean? I'm certain that an athlete does not need to step on others to achieve greatness. If someone could explain this concept, I would feel much better! On a lighter note, I love reading your emails. They have been very eye opening and on a lot of levels have helped me see that forest! All the best with this year's triathlons (I might even try one!) B.G.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Our athlete B.G. has some interesting questions. While stepping on others may provide a short-term gain, I have seen very few of these people who have ultimately been successful AND content with their journey.

The Olympics is the ultimate competition. You could be the best athlete in your school, town, province or country, but only one person can be the best in the world and by that definition 99.9% of the rest of the world are losers. A few years ago, a shoe company had an advertisement where the silver medalist was described AS THE FIRST LOSER. What a sad definition and perspective. Imagine being the second best or even 20th best school teacher, physician or musician in the world? You would be an expert of the highest proportion.

I do believe that experts generally have to be selfish. Selfish with their time and energy. If an athlete is spending time after school sitting with their friends, they are likely not improving their fitness or doing their homework. The higher one initially climbs in their sub-area of expertise, the more they have to narrow their focus (and subsequent areas they can spend limited time). When Wayne Gretzky was playing hockey, he had to focus on hockey first, his family second, his business interests third and his desire to help the many charities who wanted him fourth. If he had given too much time to his charities or business interests, he could have never become the worlds ALL TIME SCORING HOCKEY PLAYER.

Knowing where to be selfish with one's time is an important skill for people going after excellence. I once had a wise mentor explain to me that we can do it all, it just might take a lifetime to get there. In other words, I can't keep saying YES to everyone, because there will be nothing left for me or my family at the end of the day, week or summer. I have personally suffered from this syndrome and can't say that I have mastered the "NO" statement very effectively. Athletes, students or new businessmen/women who are trying to achieve excellence do have to be wise with their time and energy. The time to give to others (a very noble and important role in many of our lives) may have to be curtailed for now until we have achieved expertise in the areas we are focusing on. Elite athletes late in their careers are often in a position to give more time to charities and business people who have stabilized their business are able to donate time and money to needy causes.

>From the outside, those going after greatness are often perceived as selfish and single minded. I have had more then one debate with people who don't fully appreciate the energy that it takes to achieve excellence as they have called some of my athletes lazy or selfish. There is no question there is a balance between being focused on achieving excellence (in your business, school marks, athletic performance) and being selfish or lazy. A parent of one of my past national champion athletes had a very simple rule in their household. If their children were keeping focused at school and working diligently following my training programs, the parents were satisfied to reduce their house chores and summer work responsibilities. As soon as they found them lazing for prolonged periods of time in front of the television and not bringing a positive attitude to their training, it was time to move onto the next phase of life and reduce their training (and increase their household chores and summer job responsibilities). This strategy was one of the wisest that I have ever seen, and both of their children became National Champions, went onto win medals at World Championships, have graduated university and are productive citizens of the world. To the outside world, these athletes seemed like pampered, selfish kids who were given time and opportunity to train, go to school and race.

I fully believe that controlled selfishness is an important characteristic to ultimately being successful. For some of you, the importance and commitment it takes to achieve success in business, sport or the arts will not be more important than family, balance and relationships. Each one of us has to evaluate our own circumstances (the support we have from key people in our lives, the financial resources or health of those who may depend on us). I believe that most of us can be fully satisfied with a high performance objective that isn't the OLYMPIC CHAMPION or the richest person in the country.

JOIN BARRIE FOR A FULL DAY OF ACTIVE LIFE SKILLS MAY 7TH

Saturday May 7th, join Barrie Shepley, Sports Psychologist Dave Siegel, and top C3 swim-bike-run coaches for a day of lectures and physical instruction. If you are already in great shape, come and swim-bike-run with our top nationally ranked athletes. If you or your family members are novices, we will have expert instruction all day long. If you are more inclined to listen, we have lectures on injury prevention, proper training and a session on mental skills for achieving optimal performance (in any sport). The entire day is at Mayfield High School in Caledon Ontario. 8:30 registration and 9am starting time. Bring your own lunch. The full day is $50.00 and you get a one year free membership to the C3 Cross Training Club. If you are already a C3 club member, you get the day for free.

Register by emailing info@c3online.ca or calling the office at 905-838-2662, we have something for young (under 10) to old (over 60). For short (just getting started) and for long (Ironman and marathon competitors). Don't miss this exciting day.

HELP BARRIE HELP OTHERS

Once a year, I run a non-profit golf tournament to help athletes who have world class talent and little financial resources. This year's tournament is Thursday June 2nd at the beautiful Caledon Golf and Country Club. The afternoon 18 hole social tournament includes lunch, 18 holes of golf, draw prizes, silent auction gifts, a great post-day supper and a motivational speaker. Often this is my only 18 holes of golf for the summer. Please consider joining me in this fun, motivational and important fundraising day. To register for the tournament, or the evening only supper, or to donate some draw prizes for the day please contact Judy Riseborough at golf@c3online.ca

HAPPY 12TH TO CARON

I can say with complete certainty that my biggest asset in the last dozen years has been my incredible wife Caron. Amazing in her own right (multiple Ironman finisher, VP of our company, and now guru of her own Yoga DVD), Caron has always gone out of her way to make me look great. Happy 12th anniversary to my greatest supporter from her biggest fan!

TRY TO MAKE A DIFFERNCE IN THE LIVES OF AT LEAST ONE PERSON THIS WEEK!